The Case of the EX
i met with an ex-flame the other day.he was still the same guy i've fallen in love with. same face, familiar voice, same everything. i've missed him...terribly.
to the eyes of a stranger, we might look like just any other ordinary couple sans the holding hands part. i can't bring myself to hold him, or to touch him no matter how much i wanted to. you see, we're no couple. technically, I feel like we haven't broken up a long time ago, but still he's not my boyfriend...neither am i his girlfriend.
we just walked side by side, careful not to rub elbows because somebody we know might see us and that won't be good.
the truth is, we just used some borrowed time. it hurt me so much.
i used to own him but by some strange twist of events, i was relegated to the background. to the part of the room where nobody was supposed to know i was there...waiting in the wings.
i used every ounce of courage and strength i had just to get over him. i thought i was successful in achieving my goal.
but you know what, there comes a time, just once in a while though, when i'd think of him and i'd cry. just like that. sometimes, it's still hard to accept the fact that there's no me and him anymore. that what we had was just all part of the past. a bittersweet one.
when i think of him, i still cry. i can't help but think of the "could have beens" and "might have beens."
on the contrary, thoughts of him also makes me feel happy. i never thought i'd be capable of loving someone like that. after all, we also had our share of happy moments. we had our own walks in the park, sunsets we've watched together, movies we went to, dreams we've shared and a lot more.
it feels great to relive everything. but i have to stop here.
dwelling in the past won't do me any good.
it will just bring back all the hurt i went through along with the memories of a relationship that was never meant to be.
tsk. fate played a cruel joke on me. the sad part is i can't undo it anymore. even if i can, i don't think i ever will.
i can stand the pain anyways. i've dealt with it for the longest time.
i just hope i'd be ready to love again when the right one comes knocking on my door.
by then, i won't be living in the past anymore. i've got a future to look forward to.
as for the EX, he'll be just that...the EX.
posted by Rona @ 2:16 PM
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