Friday, January 07, 2005

Another Year of my Life

2004 was a relatively good year for me. I did fine on my job although there was a bit of controversy that involved me towards the last month. yeah, i was a bit rash with my comments about resigning and looking out for a new job. my comment was taken out of context and next thing i knew, everybody was questioning me as to when my last day will be. shocked would be an understatement as i certainly felt more than that. i never imagined that word will travel that fast and that they'd take it seriously. i assume they also found out about the little incident i'm talking about. tsk

anyways, in other aspects of my life, things were pretty much the same just like the past years. i still got no boyfriend and i'm seriously pondering why this is so. i mean, i don't look that bad (anyone who thinks otherwise will look so bad they won't be recognized anymore lol), i'm kind of friendly and well ok, i don't go out on dates but this is more of because nobody asked me to. i know, i must be some loser who can't get a guy to like her. i do go out with friends but i rarely meet guys, i just don't know how to do it. you know, bat my eyelashes and catch someone's attention. i feel like i'm through that stage and that i don't have to force somebody to like me. maybe, it will just happen. when the right time comes. yeah. i've told that to myself a lot of times i've lost count.

enough about my non-existent lovelife. let's get a move on, shall we?

about my family, nothing much happened really. i still got one niece (thank God!), my youngest brother is still the same git that he has always been hehe and my mum and pop still bicker every now and then. not that i'm complaining. they've always been like that and i'd like to think it keeps them together. they argue and make-up. a vicious cycle really hehe.

this year, i also gained a lot of friends in the office. before, we used to just nod in greeting. now, we can't get enough of each other hehe. this is one of the best things that happened to me this year. i now have another reason to report for work everyday :)

this year has been an eventful year for our country as well. national elections were held, Da King died, oil prices continuously surged up, typhoons devastated the countryside that left a great number of people homeless, and of course, those tsunamis that rocked neighboring countries in Asia.

it is at this point that i've come to admire Filipinos more. sure, we are not rich. we are a third-world country for crying out loud. but still, there's this spirit to come out of everything alive. barely breathing but still alive. ready to take one day at time. willing to pounce on every chance if only to survive. (i'm not talking of criminals here who take advantage of other people hehe.) i mean, life could get so difficult sometimes. i've also thought of giving up when times were so rough and i couldn't see a ray of light. but then, i look at the faces around me. i see children rummaging through the garbage in search of something to sell or eat for that matter, homeless people who make do with the cold gutter for comfort, those who don't have the luxury of buying the things they need, much less want. they look unfortunate. i think i am unfortunate. what would that make of them? uber less unfortunate? they don't seem bothered about it. they just want to make it through the day. i know that i'm so lucky. there are a lot of good things given to me. i've a roof above my head (by the way, we just had our house renovated), i can eat a number of times per day, i've a family that cares for me, wonderful friends who make me happy, a job that keeps me alive (because of the money i earn, mind you), and of course, Jesus, who makes all things possible.

but you know what, sometimes i feel like one thing's missing. my lovelife? i think so. there are times when i just don't think about it at all, and sometimes i can't get it out of my mind. it's been a long time since i've been involved with somebody i can call my own. actually, i don't exactly know anymore what it feels like to be loved. *sigh* whatever! as i've said, i'll let things take its natural course. 2005 is a brand-new year. who knows what's in store for me. for all i know, this could be the year i finally get to meet THE ONE. oh well, i'm just thinking out loud. que sera sera!

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!