The Day I said "I Do"
WARNING: Mush ahead :)When I was still a young girl, I was idealistic. I daydreamed about meeting THE ONE and I wanted him to be ideal in that he should be kind, understanding, witty, funny, loving, patient and a lot more positive traits. I did not want him to be sooo handsome or else, there'll be other girls I'd have to compete for his attention with.
Consequently, after meeting THE ONE, we'd have a wonderful wedding in the future. I foresaw it to be a grand one, with lots of food, overflowing booze, fun activities and of course, it wouldn't be complete without our respective families and friends. It would be a day full of love and I would want everybody to feel it when they see me walk down the aisle to pledge for an everlasting love with THE ONE for me.
As I grew older and finally fell in love, my dreams were shattered. There's no such thing as IDEAL. Pain is real and it hurt me so much that I never expected to bounce back again. I thought he was the one for me because he said so. I imagined living my life with him and at that time, I couldn't think of continuing my life without him. He became an important part of my life and I wanted him be a permanent fixture in it.
However, things don't always work out the way we want them to be. The said boyfriend and I had to part ways and I was left with no choice but to just accept the fact that that was the end to all of my dreams. Gone were the THE ONE and the perfect wedding.
I moved on with my life but I have to say that I lost faith in love. Yes, I had boyfriends but I can hardly call those relationships because I was not sure if I loved any one of them. I guess I just let the wind take me where it wanted me to be. I knew I needed a constant companion. And as bad as it may sound, now that I think about it, I think I just used them. I'd like to reassure myself from time to time that people still appreciate me and that however plain I might look like, I still attract attention from time to time.
Until it came to a point where I said to myself, I have had enough. I don't want pseudo-relationships anymore. I want the real thing. If a guy can't accept me for what I am, I won't force it. I did not want to actively participate in finding THE ONE. I just got tired from all of it. I felt like I deserved more but I ended up shortchanged. And then I decided to just leave it all to fate. Yeah, just let it be. If someone sweeps me off my feet one day, that would be great. But if none, that's all right too. There are a lot of things to do anyways. I have my family and friends to support me.
But you know what, I did get lonely. I missed having someone to just be there and listen to my endless rantings about life in general. No more movie dates. In fact, I rarely watched a movie then because my friends had boyfriends who would accompany them. I didn't want to be the third wheel. I'd just feel more sorry for myself.
Then one day, I was minding my own business, and it suddenly happened. I met him. It was just an ordinary meeting. No sparks whatsoever. We became friends eventually and as I got to know him, I just realized that I was slowly but surely falling for him. He didn't hide anything from me, at least as far as I know. I learned to embrace everything about him...his weird personality, his love for all cartoons and long, motorbike travels. In return, I told him everything about myself. It was good to know that I can just be myself when we talk or when we go out for midnight snacks. After we finish our shifts, he would come to my place and we'd eat and tell stories as well. As if that is not enough, we'd spend hours talking on the phone. It's like we had this thirst to know everything about each other.
One day, he just asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I was surprised to hear it that soon but then, not so surprised anymore because I saw it coming :) I thought about it for some time then I said yes. We became an item and things just got better.
I decided to give love another chance. I figured if I would like to get the love that I deserved, might as well risk it one last time. I kind of set an ultimatum for myself. If this wouldn't work, I wouldn't bother anymore. Maybe it's not just for me. Or maybe I'm destined to do other things.
It wasn't a long time ago when these thoughts came in to mind. Now, we have decided to take our relationship to the next level. The ultimate one if I may say so.
We exchanged our wedding vows earlier today. It was just a simple, civil wedding ceremony with our families and close friends in attendance. Very far from the grand wedding I have long formed in my mind. But at that moment, all I remembered was the contentment and love I shared with my husband. Husband. I like the sound of it. I now have a husband. Friends and neighbors used to poke fun at me in the past because I had no boyfriend. They thought I wouldn't get married but look at where I am now.
Honestly, I didn't expect this to happen to me. If somebody would tell me now that I'd get married this year, I'd really think that's the funniest joke ever thrown at me. But I guess, things just happen when we least expect them. In my case, love came knocking on my door when I seemed to have lost all hope that it will come and find me.
Now, maybe you'd ask me if he is THE ONE. I honestly believe he is. He may not be the ideal guy I've always thought I'd meet one day, but definitely he's the one that would complement my personality. He can make me laugh. We can tell stories about anything under the sun. He thinks it's funny when I snort everytime I laugh real hard, he's so patient with me, gets along well with my family and friends, and most of all loves me and makes me feel such all the time. I could not ask for more :)
To my hubby bebe, I know we still have a long way to go, in fact, we have only just begun to quote a song. Things may not always run smooth but as long as I've got you by my side, I'm sure that we can weather everything that life would throw at us. I vowed to stay with you for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part and I intend to do so. I love you so much and I just can't wait to start our journey as husband and wife :)
Remember the song I Didn't Know I Was Looking For Love by EBTG? That perfectly described what I felt when I fell for you. I can't think yet of another song that would match our love story but maybe I Finally Found Someone by Barbara Streisand and Bryan Adams is a good choice. I'll get a copy so we can sample it together :)
A few months from now, we will be joined by our little angel. Nothing could be better than that. I'm overwhelmed with the thought of becoming a mother and what he or she will look like. I hope our baby takes after you because I want him/her to grow up strong like you are. Maybe your nose too, and your height hahaha! But no matter what happens, I promise to be a good mom to our baby and a good wife to you.
I love you so much, my babies and I always will :)
xoxo
posted by Rona @ 6:14 AM
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